I guess I need to balance my last dicks entry with something more substantial.
I was wondering why you fall for who you fall for. And yes, I am addressing you lovely funky ladies. I think I have a good idea of why guys fall for whoever they do, but the female is a mystery to me. When all logic points to nice person 'x' and 'you' choose questionable person 'y,' I get confused.
I'm going to put forth a little hypothesis: that an uncouth, almost unforgivable sense of forwardness that you find in some questionable characters makes the coupling process more immediately desirable, or in a slightly more negative, blunter way to put things--easier. My assumption is that people will take the easier route, no matter their overall desires.
Now that I think about it, this paradigm holds true for boys. Some of us think that we have standards, but more often than not, we see those standards collapse in the face of an easier route. This isn't so much a theme as it is a motif I think. Perhaps we are the same. I think my flaw in this flow is that I tend to hold women to higher standards than men. In my twisted mind, it is strange when a female makes a bad choice, and expected when a male makes one. I'm a self-hater I think.
So what do you think? Agree/disagree? Can you say that you hold absolutely to standards, or is there propensity to take the more accessible path?
And if you're trying to, don't read into why I'm asking this. I'm happy with my life right now. It's just a common theme that I hear from other lives, and I wonder about it...
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5 years ago
7 comments:
I agree, I think on the girls' side, it's because it's natural for girls to want a guy who does the asking out, the "courting," who can take the first step. I mean, girls can do all they can with making some noise in the bushes here and there and letting the guy know they're interested but honestly, for myself, I can't deal with guys who don't make the first move. Maybe i'm more traditional!
I don't know if the rest of FF agrees!
Chris, let me preface my comment on your "article" by saying that this is probably the best article that I've read in a while.
You know I quote Jane Austen a lot, but here's another one.
"'Few of us are secure enough to be
in love without proper encouragement.
He likes her enormously, but might not do more if she does not help him on.'
'She's just shy. If he cannot
perceive her regard, he is a fool'
'We are all fools in love.'"
I think that we don't necessarily get to choose who we fall in love with. Not at all. You think you have standards or a "type," but love is fickle. It just sorta happens and then you're stuck figuring out what the next step is. Which is ... the big question.
I don't really have standards for liking a guy (which might sound loose of me), but I have standards for the guy with whom I would eventually have a relationship. But since I have no experience in that, I can't really comment.
But I'll say that if there's a guy that's different than "the standards" but not necessary below the standards, we get (like Xiao said)...confused.
Oh, I forgot to add that I don't really like the "easier" guys...the ones that are harder to crack are far more interesting. Or maybe I just like to torture myself.
I like this making me think bit ;P
My mom is of the breed that believes you choose who you fall in love with. I, on the other hand, am more like Xiao. I don't think that I have a type and pretty much every time that I think I do or should, it all goes out the window.
I'd also have to agree with Danielle in that I don't like the "easier guys". I don't like it when it's all laid out in front of me. That's not to say I like the games/the so-called chase either. Though I'm not sure my interpretation of your "easier" route is accurate...
As mr spock says, " there are always possibilities" dont laugh. Any how what I mean is that no, we dont choose who we fall in love with, but you do make yourself open to possibilities and closed to others. I'm in love, thus closed mentally to other possibilities, because I don't want them, and because it's not fair to the other person. I can't say exactly what my standards are, but I think they're about the same that I have for any friend, loyal, honest, open minded, etc. The truth is though, I felt that if I were left to my own devices, I would be dating some older moody wife beater, which is a teastament to my not having any real self knowledge =\ X is exactly right we are all fools in love, and we think we know what we want, but again as mr spock so wisely said, "wanting is not the same as having, it's not logical, but it is often true" Translation: we think we want it but when we get it, we're f-ed royally
i def like difficult guys. it's fun to decipher them. horrible isn't it. putting up with them is like torturing myself, yet i like getting past that barrier and learning to like them. ::shudder::
however, im def open. i don't have a set ideal, but i have a general gist of what any boy going into a relationship with me must have [ie his effect on me]. actually i have no idea. la ti da.
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