the scene: my temporary home in Bethlehem, shared by 3 or 4 other people, none of whom I know. darkness save for a dim beam of light from under a cloth curtain. a 'vornado' fan blows above my head--i sleep on the floor atop an air mattress i brought from home.
I blink. Once to get the sleep out of my eyes; again for good measure. I take in the room around me, and find that I'm awake earlier than I should be. Much earlier. I blink again in confusion.
Why the hell am I awake? Was it a bad dream? No. In fact it wasn't. It was quite a pleasant one--something involving a song by Hellogoodbye. "Here in your arms" is what it's called. The first verse does repeats in my head:
i like where we are
when we drive in your car
i like where we are--
And then I hear the most sinister sound. A voice. From my fucking fan.
"Mua ha ha ha ha."
I blink. What the fuck is this shit? I freeze for a second--confused, scared, and confused again. I make my appeal to logic, and draw myself a list of rationalizations to my poor situation:
1. My fan (that Felicia gave me) is possessed.
2. The angry bird gods have come to get some finch-related retribution on my ass.
3. The God of Abraham and friends has chosen me to free a certain group of enslaved peoples, choosing to appear as an infinitely blowing fan.
4. A friend related prank.
5. My fan is fucking possessed (someone's going to get punched in the face).
I run down my list, choosing to appeal to my more scientific nature and toss out my supernatural inclinations. Number 5 though, remains an appealing choice.
I roll off my bed and head for the light, wondering how any schmuck could pull this off. Not only are none of my friends (with access to this house) at Lehigh, but the way anybody could get access to this room (my door is locked) would be through the window, a feat that only I am retarded enough to attempt. I flip on the light.
And there it is. My fan floats in mid-air. Cushioned by rainbows and clouds of--
Just kidding. My room is as it was. And there's my fan, innocuously blowing hot air into my face, sitting next to those cheap cloth curtains. Then I realize that my curtains are shifting. I left the window open.
I step on over to the curtain, ready to smack the smart ass if he should appear. I pull the curtain open.
And there it is. A fugly-ass green faced fellow with warts on his hooked nose and tongue for teeth. He reaches--
Just kidding again. (Duhh). I pull the curtain open and see nothing but an open window. I look outside and see nothing out of the ordinary. Except for a car. A white car with the moonroof open. Are you freaking serious?
I quickly gather that the prank wasn't meant for me. I don't recognize the car; I don't recognize the people. I do recall that there is someone sleeping downstairs, alone on the sofa. As it so happens, that person sleeps right underneath the living room window. I assume that the shindig involved someone sticking his head out of the car, shouting, "Mua ha ha ha ha" toward said window. My open window just got caught in the crossfire.
I shut my window, annoyed. I woke up for this shit? Moreover: I bought "that shit." I'm more annoyed at myself for being scared than anything else.
And then I roll back into bed. But I can't sleep. The angry bird gods might still be out there. And that fucking fan. That possessed fucking fan...
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