hi everyone! what's up.....? i feel like you guys have really TURNED IT UP, as Lil' Mama would say, in terms of fancy, adult language. but a good old "what's up" still seemed appropriate!

so. what's up?! nm here. just stuck at home, trying to maintain some sense of hope and awe in a situation with great depressive potential-- JOBHUNTING!

chris your bird kept flying around like crazy today and squawking. i was too scared to stick my hand in there to give it food, so i just poured it through the cage and watched a lot of it spray onto the newspaper. sorry!!

oy.

well reading and watching movies and seeing friends makes the time pass by gloriously. i watched "reality bites" yesterday. it was GREAT! it's about.. us! pretty much. post college life, trying to figure out if we really understand and would live by what we've been extolling as ideals (anticonsumerism, antiestablishment-ism[?]) now that we can't sit around dreaming all day, or if we're just totally overdramatic and should suck it up and go to work, like most everyone else before us have done. ugh. cuz it's like. you can't dream up groceries! or AC! or money to pay for car accidents! but the longer you stay out of the system, with a safety net in place (as i'm sure most of our parents would graciously give while they still can) to catch you, the more wonderful it seems to just live, and love, and work on your own terms at something you are just in gaping awe of. but also, to each his own. maybe i'm just doomed to act like the youngest child forever.

my dad's company took a $100 million budget cut-- bc the gov't needs the money to keep fighting in Iraq. he works for a defense contracter. i started thinking about living in a box, living out of my car, finding places to shower, but also, not needing to pay property tax and bills while living in a box or car and how awesome that would be. and how a home is really just a place to store all your stuff so who cares how it looks! but they didn't lay him off.. what a relief. sometimes though, don't you guys imagine yourselves in the worst case scenario, just to convince yourselves that it won't be so bad. to cushion the hypothetical fall? but then again, i'm sure i also glamorize street life. ain't no happy hippy trip! just watch City of God. shrug. if you guys have read this kerouac book, "tristessa", wouldn't it be happy and nice having a small windowed room in a junkie lady's house-- as long as the gangster and addicts and prostitutes stay out of your business and don't involve you in theirs? ok.. maybe.. yeah.. unrealistic! i know. :]

anyways, now i am going to watch "closer" and read some fun stuff. i will leave you all with this. never fails to make me smile.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KmiqCkU7ssg